Assimilators

Intercepted Transmissions

20110929

/RUN: Diagnostics//Analyze//Polarize\\Begin

Running diagnostics...

Subject: hatguywithamustache. Threat rating: 3. Analysis: Unstable.

Subject: Nemo. Threat rating: 2. Analysis: Collected.

Subject: Tron. Threat rating: 3. Analysis: Reckless.

Subject: JediZero. Threat rating: 3. Analysis: Difficult.

Answer? Confirmed: answer.

There is a negative point one six one percent chance of reinitializing the Reintegration Tablet.

Nathaniel Crowley and his companion are alive, well, and on the move.

//Confirm: Polarize?

//Confirmed. Polarizing.

//Polarization complete.

35 comments:

  1. Thank you. Was that so hard?

    Too bad Tabby's gone...

    Now, what do you mean by polarize? What are you polarizing?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Answer? Confirmed: lie.

    The Earth's magnetic field.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're such a good liar.

    So how do you, a useless piece of crap, polarize the fucking magnetic field? That's not even possible.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Answer? Confirmed: answer.

    The Earth's magnetic poles did not become poles just by existing. Something had to polarize them. Every few hundred years the Polarization gods hire an Earth resident to re-polarize them.

    ReplyDelete
  5. >.>
    I was so looking forward to my pancake question, now all I have is disappointment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Query: -1.61% isn't an actual number, is it?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I would assume it's not. I would also assume that STOCKHOLM is lying, especially since Crowley said not to trust him.

    ReplyDelete
  8. He is lying in an interesting way. The number 161 seems to show up A LOT around Tabby.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Running diagnostics...

    Subject: Fresh Ink. Threat rating: 2. Analysis: Troubled.

    Subject: AmalgamationSage. Threat rating: 7. Analysis: Creative.

    Answer? Confirmed: answer.

    -.161 is, in fact, a number.

    Nathaniel Crowley said not to trust Grover Nigel Stepford. You may trust me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm going to go ahead and assume that Stepford made you. Stepford is not trustworthy. So, by relation, you are not trustworthy.

    Plus, you seem to lie a whole lot.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Aren't we all just rays of sunshine.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Running diagnostic...

    Subject: Achromatic Morality. Threat rating: 4. Analysis: Blank.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous02:54

    STOCKHOLM, provide analyses for KK Collins, Blight, Andromeda/Constance, and X

    http://uponthestairs.blogspot.com/
    http://xexists.blogspot.com/
    http://fatheriscoming.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  14. Running diagnostics...

    Subject: KK Collins. Threat rating: 4. Analysis: Strong.

    Subject: Blight. Threat rating: 6. Analysis: Difficult.

    Subject: Andromeda/Constance. Threat rating: 5. Analysis: Tricky.

    Subject: X. Threat rating: 4. Analysis: Clever.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Alright. Give me your analysis of me. Egocentric time.

    And Rhodes, while you're at it?

    http://somethingtoleavebehind.blogspot.com/
    http://letshaveourselvesachat.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  16. Running diagnostics...

    Subject: Konaa. Threat rating: 6. Analysis: Whimsical.

    Subject: Rhodes. Threat rating: 5. Analysis: Playful.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Beaten by Nick. This hurts.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Six? That's IT? That's measly. I'm going to have to try harder, I guess...time for Knight to C5.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lulz, at least yours wasn't a 2.

    Query: What is the threat level of humanity as a whole?

    ReplyDelete
  20. I may not be STOCKHOLM but I'd wager a guess that it's impossible to judge that. There's no calculating what will rally humans to go beyond their breaking point.

    ReplyDelete
  21. History sure does like to repeat itself, doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Query: Are threat levels calculated based purely on known indicators, or is there projection involved?

    Query: Why would Crowley tell us not to trust Stepford?

    ReplyDelete
  23. I would actually like to know what rating Morningstar gets...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Morningstar? Phh, that horsefucker ain't nothin'. Just a fucking hoser.

    Also, polarization gods?
    Query: Are you high?

    Stay frosty, mah bitchez.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I have a strong feeling you won't live another day, my irritating friend.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Right, if its lying constantly, that means that there *might* be a chance.

    And if a percentage chance is offered, then the odds would be 0% chance.

    Not -1.61%

    Also: only 3? I'm hurt.

    Tablet said I was much more dangerous.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous17:15

    Stoclholm. I am going to slap you with my cock.

    ReplyDelete
  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Clever Clever machine, you know I can't help but think what this may do for my research. I'm courious to see just exactly what you are made of, and, I admit, just a bit courious as to what an anylsis of myself would show. Probably not enough information for that, unless you happen to find things I've hidden quite long ago...
    See you around
    -Cage

    ReplyDelete
  30. Query: Is program S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M. still functioning?

    Request : Answer

    Print:
    See you around
    -Cage

    ReplyDelete
  31. Query: Probability that religion known as 'voodoo' holds rituals designed to defend against the creature known as the 'Slender Man'.

    Think I might have a lead...

    ReplyDelete
  32. Query: requesting non-vital information on hardware configuration. posses... experience with low-to intermediate level A.I architecture. since my arrival, i have become a high priority target for... i am sure a construct as advanced as you appear to be, with internet access can guess. situation substantially sub-optimal. armor operating at 4% protective capacity. ammunition almost exhausted. life-support still functioning, which is somewhat of a plus, as i am currently in the middle of the pacific.to me exact, in the middle of the pacific underwater. hang on.. i think there's a bulk cargo carrier coming. hope i can reach the sharding thing. all my contacts are dead. i have no other options. i need resources, a base of operation,, information, but most importatntly, friends, or at least allies. and my recent experiance lead my to consider non-orgaincs margenly more trustworthy. no offence intended. i am desperate here. finally something going right. managed to mag-onto the ship. ending communication.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Request: OVERWATCH.SAI requesting system access

    ReplyDelete