Assimilators

Intercepted Transmissions

20111031

October 30, 2011, 23:36 GMT

aceofpentacles: You should lock up your network more securely.
plainredts: what do you want, old man?
aceofpentacles: I know you're keeping it hidden.
plainredts: keeping what hidden, old man?
aceofpentacles: Don't play games with me, Leslie.
plainredts: games are what we do, old man
cliclac: WHAT'S THis guy doing here? You told me this was a secure channel!
plainredts: it was a secure channel until he broke in
aceofpentacles: Maybe if you weren't on different continents, you wouldn't need chat rooms.
plainredts: how do you know where we are
aceofpentacles: I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.
cliclac: I'm tracing his signal. Keep him talking.
plainredts: like that's going to work now that you just told him!
cliclac: It's only going to take a few seconds.
aceofpentacles: Fine. Don't help. But Stepford isn't as lenient as I am.
plainredts: he's just as old as you are
cliclac: Is that a threat?
cliclac: Hello?
cliclac: Damn, he's gone.
plainredts: did you at least finish the trace
cliclac: No. The encryption was too tight for me to get through before he left.
plainredts: figures
plainredts: so, really, what was he asking about
cliclac: The Tablet, dumbass!
plainredts: don't call me a dumbass motherfucker
plainredts: anyway we don't have the Tablet
cliclac: Well, we did.
plainredts: not now though
cliclac: Wonder where it is?
eternityinakiss: Y0U F1ND 1T 1F Y0U 4R3 SM4R7
plainredts: uh
cliclac: What?
plainredts: who was that
cliclac: Whoever it was, they're not even showing up in the status logs...I couldn't have traced this "eternityinakiss" if I wanted to.
plainredts: fuck this
plainredts: we're getting a new chat room
cliclac: We could just install firewalls on this one.
plainredts: i said we're getting a new one
plainredts: caw caw motherfucker
cliclac: You really are a dumbass, Leslie.
plainredts: no you're a dumbass, frank
We call him Tortoise, because he taught us.

12 comments:

  1. Okay what in the fuck?

    Who the hell left this comment, and how does it relate to me?

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  2. Transient data packets escaping integrated boundaries onto wider network over large frequency range. We apologize for the inconvenience.

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  3. Huh. Inconvenience? No, not at all. Fascinating. I'm REALLY curious now.

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  4. Perhaps best if integrated boundaries are deconstructed for time being. Warning: Floodgates opening. Floodgates opening. Prepare for data drop. Loading. Loading. Loading. Manual override initiated. Releasing data packets. Explosive reaction possible. Data packets being contained and funneled. Data packets will be released semi-periodically from now onwards. We apologize for the inconvenience.

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  5. ...I'm horribly lost.

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  6. Well, why aren't you helping the tortoise then?

    From what I can tell, it apologized that the random garbage got out, and that it will be happening from time to time in the future and it's sorry about that.

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  7. Finally some activity going on here.

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  8. I have an message pertaining to OVERWATCH.SAI.. as well as a Information requeswt from OVERWATCH to S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M .
    I think i have got it. i have spent the last few weeks attempting to repair the pathfinders A.I. given my severe lack of skills in the field of High-level programming, as i always followed a bottom-up design approach, i believe the best metaphor for attempting this task is cryogenically freezing a human, extracting his/her brain, smashing it with a sledgehammer, and attempting to put it back together with Krazy glue... understandably, i am somewhat..apprehensive about what will happen when i reintegrate OVERWATCH.SAI with the rest of the system.. given that S.A.I construct 001-B was always a bit of a flake, at the best of times.... well, if he starts singing "daisy daisy", im pulling the plug....

    OVERWATCH.SAI: Query: Entity S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M?
    Analysis by OVERWATCH of your "speech" patterns has shown a striking resemblance to those of the A.I construct known as the "Reintegration Tablet". Query: Please display the statistical odds of S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M being either A: Based on The Tablets code, or B: Being a reprogrammed version of the tablet A.I or C: running on re purposed Tablet hardware, for comparison with OVERWATCH.SAI's own results.
    Reasoning: Stockholm is commonly associated with Stockholm syndrome, when a hostage begins to sympathize with his/her/its captors.
    According to data Accessible by OVERWATCH.SAI, True A.I is extremely rare on earth-328196-A in this time period. therefore,probability of S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M having some form of close relation of entity Reintegration Tablet is calculated at 67.8%, with a variance of 5-8%.

    Additional test calculation results: 0.23% chance that Elvis is alive.

    24.332% chance of entity Gantradies claims of being a dracoform being taken seriously.

    50.000% possibility of runner/irregular community attempting termination of entity Gantradies if claims are Believed, due to Paranoia and inherent xenophobia.
    0.00% chance of homeopathic medicine function aside form placebo effect.
    Chances of catastrophic system failure upon OVERWATCH.SAI reintegration with core program: .....67.195%
    Priority: 15.9.1% chance of T.A.I construct "Reintegration Tablet" Possessing a secure "Beta site", with a possible error of .1-2 percent
    Per instructions, commencing system shutdown for maintenance.

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  9. shitshitshittheressomethingonsonarandoverwatch/saiisstillofflinefortheintergrationimasittingducklookslikeadeepsubmergancesalvagevesselirthinkitsheaddingtowardstheairlockondeckthreehismaybemylastpost

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  10. THAT was a truly unpleasant experience. on the up side, i now own a minisub...
    on a more serious note:
    S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M, i have a request:
    Analyze: Based on the assumption that entity S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M is currently aligned with forces hostile to the irregular/runner community, please calculate the approximate probability of S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M Being Deactivated,possibly with force, once its Primary Task is complete.

    Given how frequently HE disposes of paws who are no longer of use to him, i predict that your chances of continued function are rather low, once your primary function is complete.

    Query: Doe's S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M posses a sense of self-preservation?

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  11. ...got enough posts in a row there?

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    jung gur uryy vf guvf guvat qbvat ntnva? v pna'g rira xrrc genpx bs guvf fuvg nalzber

    ReplyDelete