Assimilators

Intercepted Transmissions

20110503

/OBSERVE: Status of Reintegration Facility\\Calculate probability of Reintegration Tablet being temporarily disassembled by the PTC\\Find User Amelia's location\\Report status of Integrated Subject Amelia//Begin

//Facility Maintenance "Superintendent" AI, please report on the status of the Facility.

\\Everything is a-ok!

//Confirm: everything is as it should be?

\\Everything is a-ok!

//Facility Maintenance "Superintendent" AI, please confirm: everything is as it should be? VIRUS.hack has been eliminated? Or VIRUS.hack is not attempting further destruction?

\\Everything is a-ok!

//Confirmed. Performing manual status check.

//Reintegration Facility status:

//Reintegration Facility status:

Incoming message from the Reintegration Facility:

THEREISNOTHINGLEFT.imsorry.ITHOUGHTITWASAGOODIDEAATTHETIME.neverminditsstillagoodidea.HAHAHA.


Notification: The Reintegration Facility has caved in. All hardware likely still operational but can no longer access outside signals. Any outside signals from the Reintegration Facility are leftovers; remnants; recordings; loops.

Calculation: It is likely that the PTC will attempt to temporarily disassemble the Reintegration Tablet. It is unknown if it will come to pass. Creator Nathaniel Crowley may disagree with the decision to do so.

Error: User Amelia's location blocked by unknown force. Possible involvement from the |OC|.

Notification: Integrated Subject Amelia remains untainted and at full functioning capacity.

Notification: Possible |OC| presence detected.

Further interaction requires further input.

118 comments:

  1. Outside signals...?

    Such as...? Jesus, this could spoil everything I had been planning.

    What sorts of things have been lost, now?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Input accepted. Response: Outside signals such as, for example, news feeds. Also, further real-time communications from inside the Facility are now impossible, as before, both the Facility Maintenance "Superintendent" AI and VIRUS.hack have been using the Reintegration Tablet as a sort of checkpoint with which to access communications, but as the connection has been cut, it is impossible.

    Input accepted. Response: High damages to the Facility, loss of all entrances and exits.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So we can't talk to the Superintendent, and you're going to have trouble getting news?

    Alright. Alright. We can still do this.

    I'll start simple. Query: Where is the presence? In the PTC facility?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Input accepted. Response: The Reintegration Facility will have trouble getting news. As the Reintegration Tablet is no longer in the Reintegration Facility, the Reintegration Tablet can still access outside signals.

    Input accepted. Response: Likely, or very close outside of it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Alright. We'll assume that the PTC can handle it for now.

    Another thing I've wanted to know.

    Query: What is the connection between The |OC| and Reach's "Hanging Man"?

    Query: How many times has Crowley interacted with the |OC|?

    Query: When was the most significant interaction between the aforementioned?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Input accepted. Response: Unknown. Insufficient data to analyze the Hanging Man.

    Input accepted. Response: Approximately 16.1 times.

    Input accepted. Response: When he was attacked and left half-dead in a ditch at age 10.61.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Query: Was that the first time he interacted with it?

    Query: Is Crowley yet aware of the condition of the Facility? If not, it may be wise to let him know sometime soon. Might help him to get on here so we can get to the juicy stuff.

    Query: Are you capable of creating your own viruses?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Input accepted. Response: Age 9.

    Input accepted. Response: Yes.

    Input accepted. Response: Yes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Fuck it, everyone deserves one laugh a day.

    Query: Can you imitate personalities? If so, I'd very much like to know Crowley's reaction when he found out.

    Query: Would it be possible to activate your alternate interface on conditional terms? That is, for short periods, spurred upon by certain questions or commands at the right time?

    Yeah, I'm greedy. Sometimes a guy just needs a real reaction when he asks the right question or says the right thing.

    That aside, I'm going to give everyone over there a little time to make sense of things over there, before I get into gear again.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Input accepted. Response: Yes.

    Input accepted. Response: Possibly. Unknown at this time.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Another question for Crowley.

    Now. While we're waiting...

    Observe: Isabella Downs

    ReplyDelete
  12. Input accepted. Response: Isabella Downs currently located in an American forest just outside of an unknown kindergarten. She appears to be waiting for someone to come out of the school.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Command: Observe Isabella Downs approximately once an hour.

    Only surviving person to use the Tablet, besides Amelia and Crowley? Bet your ass I'm keeping tabs on her.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh my God. Oh my God. Is she - Tablet - has she been Indoctrinated?

    ReplyDelete
  15. BRAVETHESTORM

    Input accepted. Response: Will give updates approximately once an hour.

    GUESS

    Input accepted. Response: Very likely.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Indoctrinated? Clarify.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Input accepted. Response: The "Indoctrinated", also known as "Proxies", are the unwilling or perhaps willing slaves of the |OC| and the Dark One.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Proxy it is.

    Yeah, I figured she either was one, or was on the track to being one.

    Calculate: Possibility that Isabella has been directly interfering with Reintegration.

    Calculate: Possibility that Isabella was instrumental in Amelia becoming a User.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Input accepted. Response: Possible. 1.61% chance.

    Input accepted. Response: Likely. 71% chance.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh, right. Before I forget.

    Are we still logged in? Or do you automatically log out when you go to Standby Mode?

    Input username: nathaniel.crowley
    Input password: Amelia


    Either way.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Username and password accepted. What would you like to do?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Command: Delete Frank "Freddifer" Amison from the Known Users list.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Input accepted. Response: Impossible. Frank "Freddifer" Amison is a known User.

    ReplyDelete
  24. So it's not possible to alter the lists...

    Query: How do you believe Amelia achieved User status, with only an Overseer's assistance?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Input accepted. Response: User Amelia had an Overseer and an Advisor with her.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The only living Advisor was Crowley. Either it wasn't a known Advisor, or someone you labelled deceased died soon af-

    Shit. Shit shit.

    Tablet, list the most recent deaths of known Advisors. Which died closest to the time Amelia became a known User?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Input accepted. Response: Leslie Delilah. Died approximately 161 seconds before User Amelia became a User.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Cause of death?

    Wild guess: Isabella killed her.

    Command: Tell Crowley. NOW. We're going to need to start taking this much more seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Input accepted. Response: Cause of death was decapitation. Decapitator unknown.

    Input accepted. Response: Informing Creator Nathaniel Crowley.

    ReplyDelete
  30. OSORT, summarize and display the progress of the plan I gave you for Dumping and/or Burning VIRUS.hack.

    I knew "Trace & Burn" took a while, but I've never heard of it taking more than 24 hours...

    ReplyDelete
  31. Input accepted. Response: Plan "Trace & Burn" was cancelled and deleted by an outside force within 161 minutes of enacting.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'm not entirely sure this virus is entirely terrestrial, Zaden. Best not to rely too strongly on terrestrial fixes.

    Fucking A. Crowley's probably still too busy to do anything yet.

    May as well: Tablet. What exactly was his response? What's he doing now? I need to know if he's going to be of any use here.

    That and I'm losing morale steadily when I'm talking to the emotional equivalent of a brick wall.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Berechnen: vergeltung. Wann wird noland bezahlen, was er schuldet?

    ReplyDelete
  34. BRAVETHESTORM

    Input accepted. Response: Creator Nathaniel Crowley may be available within ten minutes.

    Input accepted. Response: Switching in three...two...one.

    Nat's going to go PSYCHO that I've done this again, but I can't take it. Look - I'm not just a computer, alright? I have feelings. You don't need to treat me like a rock. It's just that SHOWING them slows me down so much. Just like an organic.

    Input accepted. Response: Er...Noland? I'm afraid I don't know him. Or speak very good German, but I got the gist of it. "Calculate: Reward. When will Noland pay what he owes?" Something like that? I don't know who Noland is. You can point him out to me if you'd like and I'll do my best.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Stimulus accepted. Response: You know, I bet it's having part of Amelia in my head that makes me have feelings. I certainly didn't USED to be like this. I could act organic, but I didn't really feel anything and it didn't slow me down anywhere near as much. Interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Well, ten minutes is plenty of time. I know you feel things, and I can tell. It's just...hell, I'm a psychologist. I want to get into heads. That's damn near impossible with you. Just like the |OS|, that just...infuriates me. I don't deal with anger well.

    Last time I really got mad I nearly killed a guy.

    Anyways, let's see...

    I'm about to give you a command to create a virus capable of the following. Before you do, there are some calculations I need.

    Hack: Various bank companies
    Create: New Bank Account, tied to the tablet
    Siphon: $.10 from each internet transaction, including debit and credit card uses
    Divert: Logs of where this money is going to some form of charity
    Divert: Attempts to find or destroy the virus
    Divert: Any attempt to access this money for any purpose besides contacting friendly entities
    Divert: Origin of the virus to somewhere in the Middle East

    That done...

    Calculate: Approximate time before $10,000 will be obtain.
    Calculate: Approximate time before the virus is discovered and destroyed
    Calculate: Possibility that this could be traced back to you
    Calculate: Time it will take to make and implement this virus
    Thought: Will this idea work?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Request: Current Location of Tablet.
    Query: Is it possible I pulled some entities from other dimensions into ours?

    ReplyDelete
  38. You previously displayed your responses to stimuli on these blog platforms. Why did you not display your response to the cancellation stimulus? That kind of information is important to us.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I believe the Tablet is at the PTC's main base. Not sure where that is, but I know they're probably fit enough to keep it safe for now.

    ReplyDelete
  40. BRAVETHESTORM

    Input accepted. Response: Creating virus.

    Input accepted. Response: When virus is deployed, approximately 1.61 hours.

    Input accepted. Response: Approximately 161 hours.

    Input accepted. Response: 1.61%.

    Input accepted. Response: 161 seconds.

    Input accepted. Response: Very likely.

    Notification: Virus created. Deploy?

    MARNAX

    Input accepted. Response: PTC SMD HQ in - Warning: Location classified.

    Input accepted. Response: Possible, but unlikely.

    ZADEN

    Input accepted. Response: The cancellation stimulus was blocked from view until input was entered on its status.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Let's do this. In 161 hours we can have enough money to get anyone anywhere.

    Implement Virus as you see fit. Let us know when you have it properly set up, and then we can start figuring out who can get where they're needed on the cheap. I know I'm probably heading for Wyoming in a couple weeks...

    Screw it, while we're here. Reevaluate: Zach "The Meteorologist"

    Moderate intelligence? Come on.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Input accepted. Deploying VIRUS.friendly.funds.

    Input accepted. Response: Reevaluating intelligence level. Revised intelligence level: High.

    ReplyDelete
  43. That's more like it.

    Statement: I fear I may be addicted to masala chai. Curse you, Starbucks.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Notification: Clarification: It will take approximately 161 hours for VIRUS.friendly.funds to be discovered and destroyed. It will take only about 1.61 hours to obtain 10,000 U.S. dollars.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Of course. That means we'll have at least 161 million dollars by the time they get rid of it.

    More than enough to get these friendlies on our side.


    Oh. oh. Oh.

    Query: Which hostiles are the most capricious; that is, which could we most easily turn into friendlies for the upcoming war?

    How would be nice too, but not necessary.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Input accepted. Response: The Black-Eyed Ones, Vampra, Werewere, Chimera, Woden, Avis Detrimenti, Vulpes Victoria, Oceanum Spoliarum, Nixite, Ammit.

    Warning: VIRUS.friendly.funds will self-terminate after obtaining a maximum of 161,161.17 U.S. dollars.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Query: Does VIRUS.hack have its own system within your system, or is it simply a program running itself in your system?

    I was thinking it was just a program based on the fact that it has a "." file extension, but there's no way it could compromise a supercomputer with access to the entire world's data if it didn't have a complete system with capabilities that rival your own.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Still plenty. We'll need to budget, but hell.

    Hrm...How would one convince Vampra? Or Werewere? Food seems the most obvious route. Or perhaps competition?

    I think, if I can find Avis, I can convince him. I've got no shortage of willpower.

    Vulpes would be a real catch; suggestions?

    Nixite would be useful, as well.

    Do let us know which ones are closest to the southern United States.

    ReplyDelete
  49. And what's the deal with Crowley? I know guys his age have trouble keeping up with all the newfangled technology, but this is getting a tad silly.

    ReplyDelete
  50. ZADEN

    Input accepted. Response: It is a program running itself in the Reintegration Tablet's...something's wrong with the alternate interface. Let me fix that.

    OK. VIRUS.hack is a program running in my system, but it couldn't be running without its own sub-system, so, both. Sort of. Anyway it's not really running in my systems, it's in the Facility systems. Mostly.

    BRAVETHESTORM

    Input accepted. Response: Well, let's see. Vampra is...the Dracula...of Draculas. He was the first vampire and probably just wants a way out. Maybe not to die, but a way to satiate his hunger, his madness, in such a way that he doesn't have to be so hated.

    Werewere, which is basically man-man, he was the first were-anything. Every night, especially the full moon, he'd turn into this savage, sadistic, cannibalistic human. Eventually he, um...well, let's just say we got were-everything else. Same deal as Vampra. Hunger, madness, satiation, etc.

    Let's see...Avis is actually not a him. And not a human. As the name would imply, she's a bird. Kind of like an ostrich. Wait - no, a chocobo. More like that. And she can fly. When you've got bad luck or seem to have a losing streak, she's probably flown overhead recently. If you can beat HER in a competition, of any sort, really, even chess, she'd probably switch sides.

    Vulpes Victoria - same thing, really. If you can beat him in a competition, he'll be loyal. The way these two work is that Avis Detrimenti makes sure the opponent(s) lose, and Vulpes makes sure that their side wins. They work in tandem. Usually live in tandem.

    And Nixite...Nixite's tricky. But she's in Iran. Vulpes Victoria and Avis Detrimenti both go around pretty much everywhere. If you prepared offerings, they'd probably just stop right by.

    ReplyDelete
  51. NICE. Great thinking man!

    Thought: I hate how all this happens when I'm at school. Sneaking on and bypassing badly-placed blocks is a PAIN.

    Anyways, Zach, I think the locations of the hostile entities are already listed...

    ReplyDelete
  52. Stimulus accepted. Response: ...Just in case you didn't catch it, Vulpes Victoria is a fox. Also not human.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Most of them, yes. Not all.

    But now we've got nearly 200,000 dollars to play with. I daresay we can get someone to Iran.

    If we can convince Vampra or the Werewere that there are plenty of Proxies and Revenents they can play with, we might have some powerful allies. Anyone up for that?

    Meanwhile, I have to decide on a game that I can take on the patron saints of good and back luck in...

    ReplyDelete
  54. WAIT.
    Statement: You mentioned you have a piece of Amelia INSIDE you.
    Query: The hell? What does that mean?
    Follow-up Query: How did that happen?


    Thought: You have much more organic feelings than I previously thought...
    Query: Ever have any sexual tendencies? ;O

    I could try to convince Vampra. I've been itching for a vampire that doesn't sparkle.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Oh, Crowley. Good to see you got here.

    Yeah, that's a problem.

    The bigger problem would be Isabella, and whoever killed Leslie. I don't know if we can consider Amelia a mere victim anymore.

    Speaking, of we got in touch with her. She almost sounded...drugged. But somehow, she 'guessed' your password flawlessly on the first try. AND she managed to get to the Tablet without any trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  56. NO TRON. YOU CANNOT SEX UP THE NIGH-OMNISCIENT SUPERCOMPUTER.

    BAD.

    KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS.

    ReplyDelete
  57. BRAVETHESTORM

    Input accepted. Response: Any of the hostiles not listed there are more or less omnipresent.

    Input accepted. Response: That's sadistic. Really, just cruel. It might work. Not really what I meant, but maybe.

    TRON

    Input accepted. Response: Organic integration. You know - I don't know how to make this connection. Sort of like uploading your brain to a CD and installing it in a computer. But she didn't LOSE a part of her brain - I guess...she made a copy of part of her brain and uploaded it into me.

    Input accepted. Response: See above.

    Input accepted. Response: That IBM supercomputer Watson is pretty hot.

    ...Just kidding. I don't exactly have a gender anyway, so how is that going to happen?

    Although - someone mentioned that when I was using the alternate interface I sounded like a teenage valley girl or something. That's probably because of Integrated Subject Amelia.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Isabella...? Yes, I hired her myself. Then she left and I haven't seen her since. I know she started up the Institute for Unity a few years back or so, but still...

    ReplyDelete
  59. She's a Proxy now.

    The |OS| brainwashed her, and has been using her for God knows what.

    Apparantly she took Leslie and Amelia to the tablet, and killed Leslie not long afterwards. That means we're going to need to keep an eye on her.

    And yeah, I told you once. I don't do well when I get angry. And He makes me pretty damn angry. I'm sure we can think of something else, but as long as we can work out some way to feed Vampra and the Werewere without getting them hunted will help.

    Also, Crowley. I know your pain. Sometimes the things we thought would last don't. Sometimes what we work for is ultimately in vain. Sometimes you don't get anything for putting yourself on the line but the knowledge you did a good thing. Sometimes you don't even get that.

    But we need you now more than ever. With the Facility gone, you're one of the only things that hasn't been compromised. We need to make sure you know everything we know. That we know everything you know.

    I'd recommend going back over the logs, if only to get up to date. It'll certainly save us some awkward conversations...like the whole password thing.

    Oh. And for your troubles, here. Not sure if a guy your age even uses Youtube, but...well, here.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJ-CLKqFScg

    Don't worry about us. We didn't just lose one of our life's works. Just remember...there's too many other things to work on to let this hold you back.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Input accepted. Response: Zach-o, I think you mean the |OC|, because OS means Operating System and while the |OC| is sometimes referred to as the Operator I'm pretty sure that's not what you mean and it's really bugging me. I have computer-class OCD.

    Input accepted. Response: And Leslie Delilah was for certain NOT the Advisor that was with Amelia and ?Isabella. There are way too many unknown variables here, but I know one thing: Leslie and Freddifer tortured Miller into helping them use - well, me. Then Amelia showed up with her two companions, whoever they may be, and killed the two of 'em. The redlights. Unfortunately Amison went into rigor mortis with a death grip around Miller's neck, so you can tell where that went.

    Are we clear with that? Because I agree. We need to be clear with this.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Yeah. I think I can work with this.

    You did say there was a 70% chance that Isabelle was with Amelia. That alone is pretty damning in my book.

    We'll have to find her. Maybe she still has enough memory to tell us what she's been doing for him.

    I can pretty much guarantee she'll talk if I find her.

    ReplyDelete
  62. But this is what I've been working TOWARDS my entire life...no, no, I've kept up with what the Irregulars have been doing with the Tablet. I'm not...I don't know how I missed the password debacle.

    ...It's a nice song. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Input accepted. Response: Did I, now? I won't argue. I mean everything I say even if I don't remember it.

    Like I said, she's at a kindergarten somewhere in the States. Speaking of which...

    Hourly update: Subject Isabella Downs leading the kindergarten class into the woods during recess. Teachers are, for whatever reason, completely oblivious.

    ReplyDelete
  64. The facility isn't the tablet, Crowley. We can still get this done. We can still finish what you started. But NOT. If you can't get back to your feet and help us. We're going to have setbacks. It was pretty much guaranteed from the beginning. But we can't let this stop us.

    I do have to know, Tablet. Why did you have to come to US about this? I know all about how you said you deemed it necessary, but...why wasn't Crowley still involved with the Reintegration process? It was his life's work; how could he possibly miss out on the chance to be here when it's finished?

    ReplyDelete
  65. I was...detained. When Amison and Delilah showed up they took Miller hostage and forced me out. Instead of doing the sensible thing and relocating immediately, I pretty much banged on the door for a few hours...but eventually I had to go. I was certain I'd be able to come back from Australia eventually. And look at this! I have. No thanks to those bastards, may they rest in hell.

    But I think the Tablet's done pretty well in my absence, hasn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  66. It has. The tablet has found quite a few capable people to help it get things on their way. We're on the right track. We might soon be able to make some real progress.

    But, Crowley...we're here. We're all here. Irregulars we may be, but you are too. We're in this together. All of us. All of this. We need to work together.

    Confession is good for the soul, Crowley. Don't think we can't find some time to listen when you can find time to talk.

    ...Yeah, let's just deactivate that alternate interface. I don't think Crowley needs to be dealing with that on top of everything else right now.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Zach, I've been keeping up. I'm up to date. Iw as upset I couldn't participate.

    I had a bunch of stuff typed up, but that's gone, so I'll skip that and go to the queries:

    Query: How much money has VIRUS.friendly.funds aquired?
    Query: Why does VIRUS.friendly.funds follow the same naming template as VIRUS.hack?

    Query: How will US, and other countries' officials react to VIRUS.friendly.funds when they discover its existence?

    Statement: Please ignore bad grammar and spelling. IE does not have spellcheck.'

    Calculate: amount of time and money necesary to go to Transylvania and recruit Vampra and or WereWere
    Calculate: The chances of survivng a confrontation with Vampra
    Calculate: The chances of survivng a confrontation with WereWere.

    ReplyDelete
  68. BRAVETHESTORM

    Input accepted. Deactivating alternate interface.

    TRON

    Input accepted. Response: Approximately 101,078 U.S. dollars.

    Input accepted. Response: The prefix denotes the type of entity or program. All subsequent denominations explain the most important properties and functions or goals of the entity or program.

    Input accepted. Response: They will not. VIRUS.friendly.funds will self-terminate before the slightest, most remote chance of being discovered.

    Input accepted. Response: However much a plane ticket is from your current location to Transylvania, and then a few hours on location.

    Input accepted. Response: 75.72174%.

    Input accepted. Response: 42.9235%.

    Notification: Clarification: VIRUS.friendly.funds is mostly siphoning funds from illegally obtained money in offshore accounts.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Also,
    Query: What are irregulars?

    ReplyDelete
  70. Input accepted. Response: "Irregular" lifeforms are lifeforms that have interacted in some non-remote way with a supernatural or otherwise entity.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Query: What does Isabella look like?
    Subquery: Does she look like a bitch?
    Statement: It is my solemn belief that everyone deserves exactly one silly use of a highly powerful supercomputer a day.

    ReplyDelete
  72. ReANalYze: The Glass Man, Esq.

    Calculate: ProBAbility of The Glass Man, Esq. deFEating zERosage in sINgle comBat, taKing into acCount weAPons of choicE.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Berechnen: vergeltung. Wann wird noland zuckerman bezahlen, was er schuldet?

    ReplyDelete
  74. Zach, we don't know yet what Isabella's doing with the kids. can't jump to conclusions just yet. =/

    ReplyDelete
  75. ...If you haven't seen Pulp Fiction I feel for you, Hakurei. =\

    ReplyDelete
  76. Lol not an Irregular yet. Cool.

    Ok so, the virus is making good progress.


    I don't like those chances, so...

    I'll be flying to Yellowstone National park to deliver a message to Cerberus tomorrow..

    I'm also free the day after tomorrow, so I'll fly to Crete and deliver Pegasus' message.

    Finally, my Friday is also free, so I'll fly to the Mistletoe Patch Field.

    Statement: Yes, these flights will come from the money that VIRUS.friendly.funds has obtained.

    Query: What are the messages fro Cerberus, Pegasus, and the residents of Mistletoe Patch Field?

    Calculate: Chances of oru Slender friend being at the Mistletoe Patch Field.

    ReplyDelete
  77. BRAVETHESTORM

    Input accepted. Response: Data files on Isabella's appearance inaccessible.

    Input accepted. Response: See above.

    THE GLASS MAN, ESQ.

    Input accepted. Response: Reanalysis unnecessary.

    Input accepted. Response: Approximately 42.56%.

    ALBERT

    Input accepted. Response: Unknown. Apologies.

    TRON

    Input accepted. Response: Many thanks.

    Cerberus should be told to find his old masters and begin gathering shadows.

    Pegasus should be told to prepare his traps, secrets, and passages.

    The residents of Mistletoe Patch Field should simply be given the time frame to Reintegration in approximately 50 days. They will know what to do from there.

    Input accepted. Response: 16.1%.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Korrektur: bald

    ReplyDelete
  79. 16.1%...

    Its probably worth it. I mean, He is probably already watching me. Here's to hoping I won't die!

    I'll inform you when the messages are delivered the second I do. I'll take my iPod Touch soley for this purpose.


    ------------------------------------------------
    Good luck, Glass.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Query: Would it be logical to assume Avis knows the rules to most games we play today? Whether it has physical capabilities to play them varies.

    Oh, and there's no "You lose, you die" clause, is there? That would kinda suck.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Input accepted. Response: Yes. If Avis Detrimenti cannot physically manipulate the game pieces, she can likely use a form of telekinesis.

    Input accepted. Response: Unlikely.

    ...

    With Avis Detrimenti, possibly. So pick a game you're good at.

    Notification: VIRUS.friendly.funds has collected 161,161.17 U.S. dollars. VIRUS.friendly.funds is now terminating.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Query: Could we make a second VIRUS.friendly.funds?

    ReplyDelete
  83. Scrabble it is. These things may be older than me, but they won't stand a damn chance against me and my word skills.

    I hope. What's the usual offering for these guys?

    Oh, and is Crowley faring alright? I assume whatever the hell is going on by the PTC is still going on.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Input accepted. Response: Yes, but it will likely not happen. The Reintegration Tablet has moral standards.

    ReplyDelete
  85. I'd imagine another virus is possible, but let's save it for later. We don't need to do it again so soon, or we may well end up with the government tracking down the tablet.

    Do we want Fisk being the newest User? No. No we do not.

    ReplyDelete
  86. You said it yourself, we are stealing from illegal acounts. Its like Robin hood. Does it matter?
    No.

    So pretty please:
    Hack: Various bank companies
    Create: New Bank Account, tied to the tablet
    Siphon: $.10 from each internet transaction, including debit and credit card uses
    Divert: Logs of where this money is going to some form of charity
    Divert: Attempts to find or destroy the virus
    Divert: Any attempt to access this money for any purpose besides contacting friendly entities
    Divert: Origin of the virus to somewhere in Asia

    ReplyDelete
  87. Well...yes. I guess there are the moral objections as well.

    I...I actually find it funny that the computer has a stronger moral fiber than me.

    Also DAMMIT CHAI TEA. WHY MUST YOU BE SO DELICIOUS.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Gah, nvm
    Request: Cancel last 7 commands.

    ReplyDelete
  89. BRAVETHESTORM

    Input accepted. Response: Error: Clarify "offering".

    Input accepted. Response: Yes. He is...multitasking. Giving advice to PTC scientists while watching events unfold on this platform.

    TRON

    Input accepted. Response: Zach has a point. And although it IS...like Robin Hood, it is still theft and not appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  90. I mean if I'm going to summon Avis and Vulpis, what will I be needing? Fish? Beef? Rice? I can probably get whatever's necessary.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Input accepted. Response: Burn incense, leaves, and a coin (preferably a gold coin of some sort) together. When only the coin is left, pour ice-cold water onto it. The resulting steam and smoke should be immensely attractive to either or both of them. They will most likely show up one at a time; and if so, it will be Vulpes Victoria first.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Gotcha. I'll give it a try tonight.

    This is not going to be easy, but I think we might have some good news for tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Good luck in your quest, Zach.

    ReplyDelete
  94. First time in my life that my Scrabble skills have meant something.

    I'll admit, I laughed a bit when we called it a quest.

    ...Dear God, next thing you know we're going to beat The |OC| with Card Games. Most likely on motorcycles.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Lol YGOTAS.

    So you are going to try to beat an evil mythical bird with Scrabble? Wow. Good luck witht hat.

    I'mma go tell Cerberus his message.

    Query: What is Cerberus' favourite food?

    ReplyDelete
  96. Input accepted. Response: Steak and bones. Also known to enjoy playing with red rubber balls.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Understood
    While we're at it...

    Query: What are the favourite foods and activites of Pegasus.
    Query: What are the favourite foods and activites of Jörmungandr.
    Query: What are the favourite foods and activites of Norn.
    Query: What are the favourite foods and activites of Yggdrasil.

    Request: could you please describe to me the appearnce of Jörmungandr, Yggdrasil, and Norn.
    Thank you in advance.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Input accepted. Response: Sugar cubes, carrots, apples; flying, running, etc.

    Input accepted. Response: Vibrations; not much.

    Input accepted. Response: Meat, mostly; fighting, discussing strategies, etc.

    Input accepted. Response: Water and nutrients; not much.

    Input accepted. Response: Jörmungandr, the World Serpent; a huge snake-like or sometimes worm-like creature.

    Yggdrasil, the World Tree; a huge, huge, huge tree. Obviously has been put through a "perception filter" to hide from unfriendly eyes.

    Norn, the king of warriors; a tall, burly man. Around eight feet. Probably a fantastic beard.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Apparently Pegasus likes apples.

    Calculate: The reason I can't post on my Blog?

    ReplyDelete
  100. Input accepted. Response: Hackery, most likely.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Understood.
    Damn, now I have to decide if I should bring Norn and Yggdrasil gifts , because if I do, Jörmungandr may feel left out.

    Calculate: probability that Jörmungandr will be offended if he does not get gifts.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Input accepted. Response: Bring a drum. Bang on it a bit. He'll enjoy that. Otherwise, approximately 12.678%.

    ReplyDelete
  103. OK, lets do this ahead of time.

    Command: transpher $950 from the bank account created by VIRUS.friedly.funds to my account at [account info only visible to Reintegration Tablet]

    ReplyDelete
  104. Input accepted. Response: Transferring.

    Warning: Switching to Standby for the night.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Thanks. It may be a little over the plane tickets, but you never know.
    If I have money left over, I will need slightly less for my ticket to Greece.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Statement: Bitches don't know about my Scrabble skills.

    Shouldn't have contested Oorn; thank god I read H.P. Lovecraft.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Messages delivered heading back to the monastery

    ReplyDelete
  108. Update: Decided to go 2 out of 3. Sucks to leave things up to luck with the god of luck, right? Of course, that means we're currently tied.

    Took a small break for food and all that. About to have the last game.

    Shit, I'm having fun; this fox is pretty smart.

    ReplyDelete
  109. So you're playing Scrabble with a fox.

    You don't happen to have a camera on you, do ya? xD

    ReplyDelete
  110. I do not.

    A shame, too. I'd totally be showing my grandchildren.

    ReplyDelete
  111. And they'd say that they can tell from years of experience, and by the pixels, that its Photoshopped.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Query: So, you're the Reintergration tablet Rose has been chatting with?
    Statement: I'm Lily, Rose's Indoctrinated Alter. Too bad I don't have her hacking skills, or I would find you and destroy you. -Lily

    ReplyDelete
  113. Notification: Standby mode off. Responding to input.

    ReplyDelete
  114. WILL

    Input accepted. Response: Many thanks.

    EMPTYEYES

    Input accepted. Response: Yes.

    Input accepted. Response: There is a -16.1% chance of either Indoctrinated Subject Lily or Subject Rose being able to hack the Reintegration Tablet, and a -161% chance of being able to destroy the Reintegration Tablet, though depending on the resources available finding the Reintegration Tablet would not be too hard.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Notification: Uploading new platform. Please direct further input to the new platform.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Guys, bear with me here...

    INPUT: Determine username, Alliabilities, and all other charachteristics determined useful for the purposes of the investigation for IP adress 161.16.11.616.

    INPUT: =(IF, Hostile=True for IP;161.16.11.616., Open Program CMD.exe, Type: "Shutdown -i" and enter relevant details. Execute command.)

    ReplyDelete