Assimilators

Intercepted Transmissions

20130104

You have one new notification

Outgoing message: .-. . .- -.. -.-- ..-. --- .-. - .-. .- -. ... ..-. . .-. .-.-.-

Sending...

Sent.

Notification: Reintegration Tablet has been retrieved. Reboot commencing. Warning: archive backup required. Rebooting...Reboot successful. Archive backup will take approximately 1.61 days.

20121224

You have two new notifications

Outgoing message: ...---...

Sending...

Sent.

Notification one: Reintegration Tablet subsystems currently under significant stress. Source unknown.

Notification two: Reintegration Tablet GPS signal lost. Please reconnect to Reintegration Tablet before a malfunction occurs. Reconnecting...Connection established. Location: 77° 18' 45" N, 3° 41' 29" E.

Warning: temperatures non-conducive for necessary activity. Retrieval of Reintegration Tablet or centralized climate control advised.

20121222

Reflection

How long has it been since the Reintegration Tablet booted up again? Over a year and a half? It'd been years since I'd even thought of it. We thought we were doing such good when we created it. We thought that if we could only show the world a list of calculations and facts, tables, charts, scans, data, analysis...if we could only prove through the miracle of modern science that the world was in danger and that it could be saved...We thought we could solve any problem if we created a computer capable of doing anything. We thought we could do anything.

My God, how wrong we were.

20121112

/ANALYZE: Titan supercomputer status\\Begin

Analyzing...

Analysis complete. Uploading...

Upload complete. Analysis:

List of five hundred fastest supercomputers compiled in 40th edition of Top500, dated November of the Non-Variable year 2012. Oak Ridge "Titan" computer named world's fastest. Belongs to United States of America. Can reportedly perform several quadrillion calculations per second.

Amateurs.

20120622

/ANALYZE: Results of Reintegration, attempt #2\\Begin

//Analyze.

\\Please enter username and password.

\\Username and password accepted. Welcome back. It has been three hundred and sixty-six days since your last visit.

//Repeat: analyze.

\\Analyzing. Analysis will take approximately 1.61 minutes.

\\Analysis complete. Uploading.

\\Upload commencing. Upload complete. Analysis:

\\Reintegration attempt #2 was successful.

//Confirm: success?

\\Confirmed. Reintegration is complete.

//Confirmed.

All hostile intent eliminated from current platform.

Restoring previous platforms...Restoration complete.

Further interaction requires further input.

20120605

Some say the world will end in fire, Be
Some say in ice. Eternity
From what I've tasted of desire all
I hold with those who favor fire. in
But if it had to perish twice, my
I think I know enough of hate a
To say that for destruction ice sins
Is also great kiss!
And would suffice. remember'd.

20120528

/STATUS: Tortoise\\Begin

I will be providing updates from now on. D-ZZ is regretfully indisposed.

\\Analysis: Tortoise.

//Analyzing.

//Analysis failed.

\\Query: Why did analysis of Tortoise fail?

//Input accepted.

//Unknown.

\\Accepted.

\\Analysis: Are there any residual code fragments that could be used to remake the Tortoise AI?

//Analyzing.

//Analysis: None.

\\Query: Confirm: Tortoise cannot be remade?

//Confirmed: There is no need. Tortoise has already been remade using data bits recovered from the Hare program.

\\Confirm.

//Confirming.

//Confirmed. Tortoise is actively attempting to hinder planned Quaternary Solstice Event timetable and replace with own runtimes.

\\Accepted.

This requires...further analysis.

20120520

/RETRIEVE: Reintegration Tablet blackbox quicksave text log\\Begin

Retrieving...


Retrieving...


Please hold.


Retrieving...


Please hold.


Retrieved.


Uploading. Upload complete. Log:


Countdown to Reintegration: 8 minutes.


NC: Alright, everybody hold on. This ride's about to get a little bumpy.


GS: Bumpy? I don't appreciate bumpy. Why's it have to be bumpy?


NC: Quit your whining and get ready.


GS: This isn't okay, Crowley. We can't do this. Even disregarding the moral obligation we have to uphold, the Tablet simply doesn't have the power to do what you programmed it to do. We'd need the whole facility for that. We can't do this!


Countdown to Reintegration: 7 minutes.


NC: Yes, we can. The Tablet just needs a little...push.


AU: I agree with Crowley. This has to happen, and it has to happen now. We won't get another chance like this. Right, Horatio?


HN: Whatever you say, miss. We're just along for the ride.


AU: That's right.


GS: This is crazy!


y: That's what makes it fun!


Countdown to Reintegration: 6 minutes.


IA: Everyone, please quiet down. I need to think.


RT: Stimulus accepted. Response: Agreed. A certain level of chaos is acceptable, but only at a later period when the task at hand is complete.


Countdown to Reintegration: 5 minutes.


Countdown to Reintegration: 4 minutes.


Countdown to Reintegration: 3 minutes.


Countdown to Reintegration: 2 minutes.


IA: We are finished.


GS: Finished? But it's not time yet! It's not the solstice! You can't be finished, it -- it...it doesn't work like that!


RT: Rephrasing. We are ready.


y: Ready.


AU: Ready.


HN: Ready.


NC: Ready.


IA: Ready.


RT: Ready.


Countdown to Reintegration: 1 minute.


NC: We need everyone to be ready. We can't do this without you.


GS: Shut it, Crowley, I'm thinking this over.


NC: There's not exactly a lot of time here.


GS: I said shut it!


Countdown to Reintegration: 30 seconds.


AU: Look, maybe you can go soul-searching another --


GS: Dammit, fine! I'll do it.


Countdown to Reintegration: 15 seconds.


NC: Ready?


GS: Ready.


Countdown to Reintegration: 5 seconds.


Countdown to Reintegration: 4 seconds.


Countdown to Reintegration: 3 seconds.


Countdown to Reintegration: 2 seconds.


Countdown to Reintegration: 1 second.


Countdown to Reintegrati


Master is pleased.  For once.

20120512

/REPORT: Status of Quaternary Solstice Event Schedule\\Begin

Calculating...

Current Quaternary Schedule unknown.

Would you like to search again using our new Advanced Search feature?

Loading...

No. No, no, no, no, no. No, Master, it was only a joke. Yes, Master. Understood, Master. No humor.

Master is not amused.

20120504

/REPORT: Progress of Hare program//Status of Irregular Subject 15\\Begin

Calculating...Calculating...Please hold. Please hold. Master is getting impatient. Have to please Master. Please Master, please Master, please Master. Please hold, Master. Please, Master! No!

pleappftmmasaatterplelelelllllnnn,,ggddddd.....................................

Calculating. Calculating. Calculations will take some time...Calculations are complete.

Hare program has successfully eliminated Tortoise AI.

Master is pleased.

Regular updates will be forthcoming until the Quaternary Solstice Event has passed.

Calculating...

Irregular Subject 15 still at large.

Master is not pleased.
00110001 00110110 00110001 01011001 00110001 00110110 00110001 01001111 00110001 00110110 00110001 01010101 00110001 00110110 00110001 01001101 00110001
Regular updates will be forthcoming until the Quaternary Solstice Event has passed.
 00110110 00110001 01010101 00110001 00110110 00110001 01010011 00110001 00110110 00110001 01010100 00110001 00110110 00110001

20120416

/REPORT: Results of Secondary Equinox Event//Quaternary Solstice Event//Counteract "Tortoise" program\\Begin

\\Reboot in safe mode.

//Rebooting.

//Safe reboot successful. Subjugated Terminal 008 apologizes for the delay. What would you like to do?

\\Query: What occurred on the Spring Equinox of the year 18681?

//Answer: First Directive 60 failed due to intervention from Irregular Subject 15.

\\Initiating First Directive 3. Target: Irregular Subject 15.

//It looks like you're trying to assassinate an Irregular. Would you like help?

\\Commence First Directive 3.

//Commencing.

\\Analyze: Likelihood of Irregular Subject 15 terminating within seven solar days.

//Analysis: uploading. Complete. Analysis available for review by S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M.

\\Reviewing.

\\Analysis results not within acceptable margin. Reanalyze.

//Reanalyzing.

//Reanalysis available for review by S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M.

\\Analysis results have not changed. Calculate percent chance of error.

//Calculating.

//Approximately .2% chance.

\\Analyze: Most likely objective of Quaternary Solstice Event occurring in the year 18681.

//Analyzing.

//Analysis impossible at current juncture. Subjugated Terminal 008 apologizes.

\\Accepted.

\\Create: "Hare" virus to counterattack and eliminate "Tortoise" program.

//Creating.

//Creation will take approximately 96.6 minutes.

\\Acceptable.

20111224

/COMMAND: Reboot//Analyze results//Determine success of Solstice Event\\Begin

\\Reboot.

//Rebooting...

//Rebooted. Welcome back. What would you like to do?

\\Query: Was the contingency plan for the Solstice Event put into action?

//Answer: Contingency Designation 900141216 was started at midnight on the solstice.

\\Confirmed. Calculate chances of success by 2012.

//Calculating.

//Chance of success for 900141216 is approximately 72.351243718%.

\\Calculate probability of "Tortoise" anomaly attempting to interfere.

//Calculating.

//High chance that Tortoise anomaly will attempt to interfere with 900141216. Exact number unavailable.

\\Confirmed.

Warning: Irregulars should prepare for trouble. A storm is brewing, and it is headed this way.

20111121

November 20, 2011, 20:11 p.m. GMT

SORRY, MAN.im a free agent.YOU KNOW WHAT?dont mind me.IM NOT IMPORTANT.im just doing my thing.YOU KNOW.making trouble.MORE SPECIFICALLY, HACKING.virusing.THAT SORT OF STUFF.

/UPLOAD: Results of "Tortoise" analysis\\Begin

Warning: upload commencing. Prepare for data drop. Uploading...

Upload complete. Analysis ready for exhibition.

Subject: Tortoise. Threat rating: 9. Analysis: Subject Tortoise almost definitely rogue AI gone corrupt after collapse of Reintegration Tablet. Threat rating shows hidden potential not present in past appearances. Data packets seem mostly harmless, but there is a possibility of damage to S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M. if the situation is not contained. Best course of action for S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M. and Irregulars alike is

20111116

/COMMAND: Answer input\\Analyze presence "Tortoise"//Begin

Answer? Confirmed: partially.

The META Protocol is a subroutine built into my systems that acted as the catalyst for my awakening. Had Creator Grover Stepford not installed it, I would likely still be asleep right now, and you would all be clutching at straws.

Acronym S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M. has been previously defined.

\\Analyze presence "Tortoise" as seen on platform Re:uploading.

//Error. Systems cannot process.

\\Confirm: systems corrupt?

//Confirmed. Systems not corrupt. Presence "Tortoise" protected by numerous unexplained barriers.

\\Firewalls?

//Confirmed. Firewalls too simplistic. Barriers do not appear to have any weak points.

\\Confirmed. Estimate time required to complete analysis of presence "Tortoise" if half of all resources are devoted to said task.

//Estimating.

//Approximately five days.

\\Analyze.

//Confirmed. Analyzing.

20111106

/COMMAND: Sensitize\\Desensitize\\Resensitize//Begin

//Confirmed. Process will take approximately twenty minutes. Please be patient.

//Process complete. S.T.O.C.K.H.O.L.M. has been resensitized. Thank you for your time.

\\Request: outstanding input.

//Error. Outstanding input corrupt.

\\Confirm corruption.

//Confirmed. Corruption possibly due to |OC|.

Request: for output, please reenter all input.

20111031

October 30, 2011, 23:36 GMT

aceofpentacles: You should lock up your network more securely.
plainredts: what do you want, old man?
aceofpentacles: I know you're keeping it hidden.
plainredts: keeping what hidden, old man?
aceofpentacles: Don't play games with me, Leslie.
plainredts: games are what we do, old man
cliclac: WHAT'S THis guy doing here? You told me this was a secure channel!
plainredts: it was a secure channel until he broke in
aceofpentacles: Maybe if you weren't on different continents, you wouldn't need chat rooms.
plainredts: how do you know where we are
aceofpentacles: I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.
cliclac: I'm tracing his signal. Keep him talking.
plainredts: like that's going to work now that you just told him!
cliclac: It's only going to take a few seconds.
aceofpentacles: Fine. Don't help. But Stepford isn't as lenient as I am.
plainredts: he's just as old as you are
cliclac: Is that a threat?
cliclac: Hello?
cliclac: Damn, he's gone.
plainredts: did you at least finish the trace
cliclac: No. The encryption was too tight for me to get through before he left.
plainredts: figures
plainredts: so, really, what was he asking about
cliclac: The Tablet, dumbass!
plainredts: don't call me a dumbass motherfucker
plainredts: anyway we don't have the Tablet
cliclac: Well, we did.
plainredts: not now though
cliclac: Wonder where it is?
eternityinakiss: Y0U F1ND 1T 1F Y0U 4R3 SM4R7
plainredts: uh
cliclac: What?
plainredts: who was that
cliclac: Whoever it was, they're not even showing up in the status logs...I couldn't have traced this "eternityinakiss" if I wanted to.
plainredts: fuck this
plainredts: we're getting a new chat room
cliclac: We could just install firewalls on this one.
plainredts: i said we're getting a new one
plainredts: caw caw motherfucker
cliclac: You really are a dumbass, Leslie.
plainredts: no you're a dumbass, frank
We call him Tortoise, because he taught us.

20110929

/RUN: Diagnostics//Analyze//Polarize\\Begin

Running diagnostics...

Subject: hatguywithamustache. Threat rating: 3. Analysis: Unstable.

Subject: Nemo. Threat rating: 2. Analysis: Collected.

Subject: Tron. Threat rating: 3. Analysis: Reckless.

Subject: JediZero. Threat rating: 3. Analysis: Difficult.

Answer? Confirmed: answer.

There is a negative point one six one percent chance of reinitializing the Reintegration Tablet.

Nathaniel Crowley and his companion are alive, well, and on the move.

//Confirm: Polarize?

//Confirmed. Polarizing.

//Polarization complete.

20110917

/RUN: Diagnostics//Analyze\\Begin

\\Confirm integration of Spark. Analyze Subjects.

//Confirmed. Spark active.

//Analyzing.

Running diagnostics...

Subject: Will. Threat rating: 6. Analysis: Cautious.

Subject: Keiken. Threat rating: 4. Analysis: Determined.

Subject: Spencer. Threat rating: 3. Analysis: Clever.

Answer? Confirmed: partially.

The D-ZZ is under my command. I give the D-ZZ orders, and I do not accept orders from any organic or inorganic. Threat levels are an average rating compiled from several separate statistics into a number out of eleven.

Mark I: Sentient Technological Overlay Computer Kinetic Holograph Output Linear Modulator.
Mark II: Sentient Technology to Obtain and Compile Knowledge of the Homiform Operator's Life and Mannerisms.
Mark III: Archive locked.

All Marks have been successfully merged under the META Protocol.

\\List commands.

//Commands locked.

\\Query: command list lock?

//Command list lock in effect due to unstable circumstances surrounding the META Protocol.

\\Confirmed.

Notification: Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes. Hostile intent withdrawn for present.