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Intercepted Transmissions

20110523

Rap battle for the ages

In five or so hours. Thank Zacharoni for whatever's going to come out of this.

The things I do...the things I agree to...ugh.

y

71 comments:

  1. It'll all be worth it when you get your ass whooped by a white boy.

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  2. Zab. I advise you stay far far away from the hotel room for the next five hours.

    For both of our sakes.

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  3. This is a text-based rap battle, isn't it? I am suddenly questioning the wisdom of this decision.

    y

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  4. ...Suddenly.

    After TWENTY HOURS of preparation for a rap battle. Now. NOW is when you think this may not be wise.

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  5. Whoa. Something happened... what? Did Baaztat take his revenge?

    Hah good thing I have a bit of an addiction, or I'd be screwed.

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  6. No, no, no.

    It's got nothing to do with Baaztat. Just...it's...some things men aren't meant to see.

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  7. Anonymous22:43

    "All this I have told you so that you will not go astray." John 16-1 that is the significance of 16.1 isn't that right Y?

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  8. It's one of them, sure.

    y

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  9. Well, gentlemen, the deadline approaches. Are both parties ready?

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  10. Word.

    I guess it's only fair to let y go first.

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  11. Hoo boy.... ~Rose

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  12. Psh. You sure you want to do that?

    Alright. Let's do this.

    y

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  13. Since the day I was born, I've been hot like the sun
    You better beat me in this game if you want information
    I've got $20 studs on my twenty-two Ferraris
    You challenged me to rap? Bitch, get ready to be sorry!

    y

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  14. You may be a God in the internet world,
    But when's the last time you've even BEEN with a girl?
    Hey yo y, go step outside, see something real.
    Or grow the fuck up, man; you're so damn peurile.

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  15. There's a storm coming, weatherboy, and guess who's at the front?
    You can call me Alpha Wolf, cause you are just a runt.
    Now let me think; two weeks ago - a night unlike any other
    Because it was the night I copulated with your mother.

    y

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  16. A mom joke, y? You're better than that.
    My mom's been around so much, that joke's just old hat.
    But I've seen a pic of your kid, old man.
    I wouldn't even hit that if I was in Spender's van.

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  17. You think that you can touch this, son? Well, I beg to differ
    My words will suck you up like dirt into a Swiffer.
    Chuck Norris comes to me for training his roundhouse kick,
    And the Lord God Almighty blessed me with a huge-ass bank account.

    y

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  18. I made a deal with the devil, and still kept my soul.
    What the fuck have you DONE lately, in your little hidey-hole?
    Got in a motherfucking shootout with the C-I-A.
    Closest you've come to a gun's probably a video game.

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  19. People say that actions are more powerful than words
    But it don't matter - whether rhymes or weapons, you'll get burned!
    You get all bitchy, whiny, crazy, from one little scratch
    I've survived an atomic explosion. Think you can top that?

    y

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  20. You survived an atom bomb? Damn, must have hurt.
    No wonder you can't get a girl when your balls are inert.
    I'm a regular Da Vinci, in the art of chicane.
    You're just Bazooka Joe, you annoying dickstain.

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  21. Boy, I've got an army of informants waiting at my beck and call
    And there ain't a single one that can't make you gape in awe
    Frap and friends would never have gotten anywhere without me,
    And I was watching - I shed a single tear - at the death of Reach.

    y

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  22. Army of informants, huh? Can they get you a date?
    I bet to do that one they'd have to REALLY stay up late.
    What's your idea of some romance, oh smooth Mister?
    Oh, I got it. How about a game of Twister?

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  23. It's always been a fact the pen is better than the sword
    So watch your mouth, boy, you're about to get whored
    Now, who thought there'd come a time when it would show
    That the only thing you know is how to spell ho.

    y

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  24. Quantum Hacker? Oh please, what a crock.
    You're just a hack; now get on your knees, and suck my cock.
    Make sure to give a smile as you take it all in.
    C'mon, y. No one'll think bad if you give me the win.

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  25. Anonymous02:07

    *red flag*

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  26. Remember two weeks past, when I met up with your mom?
    It's funny, deja vu moments, they never lead you wrong.
    You'll probably find this funny, you might even say "dur,"
    But that is oddly reminiscent of what I said to her.

    y

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  27. Oh, okay then, back to the moms.
    A little Oedipus Complex never steered anyone wrong.
    You're blind to the truth, just like the mythological ruler.
    You think you're cool, y? Even MILHOUSE is cooler.

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  28. Milhouse is my bitch, and Peter Griffin, too,
    That's right - you'd know all about cartoon fantasies, wouldn't you?
    Lucky for you, I'm all tuckered out, I've got no more rhymes
    Fucking rap battles. Can't believe you talked me into this. Jives.

    y

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  29. Zachary is the winner!

    ...

    But then again, winning this competition is akin to winning the Autistic Olympics.

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  30. I can't believe I just said that...don't look at me! I am ashamed!

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  31. y, I have to admit, you've given me a good run.
    But I guess I can see why you'd say that we're done.
    Really, you're no more threatening than a Stay-Puff marshmallow.
    I guess this is what I should expect from a guy who admits he's yellow.

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  32. Fine, then. You've got my help for the time being. Quit rubbing it in.

    y

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  33. God...I'm going to bed.

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  34. Wonderful.

    And now I have no fucking idea what to do with it.

    But really, winning this was like winning the special olympics.

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  35. Have my words blinded you? Crowley just said that.

    y

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  36. ZACH! I just ran back to the hotel to congratulate you and... and... Oh god.
    Zach, why the fuck are you wearing a gold grill and a bandana?

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  37. It's called method acting, you schmuck.

    How else am I going to dress when I'm rapping?

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  38. ....like someone who ISN'T competing in the Special Olympics.

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  39. This is the way rappers dress.

    I am being a rapper.

    Thus, this is the way I am dressed. Simple deduction.

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  40. I don't think I'm blazed 'nuff to comprehend that. Peace.

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  41. Whatever. You're just mad cuz I'm stylin' on you.

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  42. Alright, y.

    First order of business. Let the tablet see everything you've been hiding from him. Including the rap battle, please.

    Then give us...shall we say 30 minutes? To get it up to date.

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  43. It'll take a bit more than that. But fine.

    y

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  44. Warning: High amount of new input. Data analysis will have unforeseen consequences. Switching to Standby for the night.

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  45. Awww, now we don't get to show it the rap until tomorrow.

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  46. O_o I have watched the battles between angels and demons, gone to war against the vast hordes, taken part in battles to decide to fate of the world, and watched entities from every stretch of the cosmos partake in all manner of delights and tortures.

    Through it all, I have on some level been able to describe and comprehend it.

    This though? This...?

    I salute your poor fashion sense and mad skills. I need to go rescue Kay from the horrors of another dimension, and now I know that no matter what she's encountered, it is not as terrible as anything I've seen here.

    Then again, *I* would have challenged y to Mortal Kombat. I don't have room to talk.

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  47. Rest easy, Sage. Know that, no matter how bad it may be, you will never have to see me rap again.

    NEVER. AGAIN. And if you ever need something to remind you just how much worse things can be...just come back here. And you will almost certainly cheer back up.

    Oh, and do share this with Kay for me, will you? I'm sure it'll help her feel better about whatever horrors SHE'S facing.

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  48. Lol, that was great! XD ~Rose

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  49. Tablet, get online already, damn it. I want to see what you think of all this*.

    *This= Rap battle.
    This= yellowlight
    This= perception filter
    This= the posts yellowlight made
    This= the comments yellowlight made

    Also,
    Analyze: yellowlight
    Calculate: His time left on earth
    Calculate: Chances I'll get to meet him before he goes.

    Command: Rap your answers to me.
    Clarification: You can skip this command, but I advise against it.

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  50. Notification: Standby mode off. Responding to input.

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  51. Input accepted. Response: Ridiculous.

    Input accepted. Response: Interesting.

    Input accepted. Response: Complex.

    Input accepted. Response: Strange.

    Input accepted. Response: Curious.

    Input accepted. Commencing analysis.

    Analysis: upload commencing. Upload complete. Analysis:

    Subject: yellowlight. Status: Semi-stable. Abilities: Fantastic. Emotional status: Strong. Threat level: High. Intelligence level: High. Potential: High. Danger: High.

    Input accepted. Response: Anywhere from 30-161 days.

    Input accepted. Response: 51.4%.

    Input accepted. Response: The Reintegration Tablet refuses.

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  52. Aww. OK then.


    I just realized, we have never done this before:
    Analyze: Reintegration Tablet
    Analyze: VIRUS.hack

    Query: Has VIRUS.hack done anything to hinder reintegration recently, or did you defeat him?
    Query: Did we ever find out who created VIRUS.hack?
    Calculate: Chances that it was Amelia

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  53. Input accepted. Response: Yes, you have. The Reintegration Tablet has been previously analyzed, on the first platform. Perhaps VIRUS.hack too. Re-uploading.

    Input accepted. Commencing analysis.

    Analysis: upload commencing. Upload complete. Analysis:

    Subject: VIRUS.hack. Status: Semi-stable. Abilities: High. Emotional status: Moderate. Threat level: High. Intelligence level: Low. Potential: High. Danger: Moderate.

    Input accepted. Response: VIRUS.hack has been quiet recently.

    Input accepted. Response: The most likely creators of VIRUS.hack are Frank "Freddifer" Amison and Leslie Delilah.

    Input accepted. Response: 1.61%.

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  54. Amelia00:17

    I didn't...do it.

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  55. I understand.

    Amelia, don't be offended. The reason I assumed it was you is it appeared around the same time you and 161 did, so yea.


    And Tablet, I'm sorry for making ya restate that.

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  56. Ridiculous sums it up very nicely.

    It's even more ridiculous that I WON.

    Statement: Baaztat is officially a friendly. Fuck yeah.

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  57. Well, not yet. We still have to give him proof, but that shouldn't be too hard, right?

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  58. It's comics. He's died like five times already.

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  59. What about Zach's soul? We're probably gonna have to kidnap him--Baaztat doesn't seem like the kind do do much legwork.

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  60. Input accepted. Response: "Legwork" as defined by humans and "legwork" as defined by non-humans are very different definitions.

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  61. Query: How do non-humans define 'legwork.'

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  62. Input accepted. Response: It depends on the non-human in question.

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  63. Clarification: Baaztat.

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  64. Input accepted. Response: "Legwork" for Baaztat is basically a non-existent concept.

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  65. Query: Why?
    Does he have his own informants/servants?

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  66. Input accepted. Response: He is a demon. He has his own methods of transportation.

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  67. Pfft. Fine.
    Wingwork. Brightflashoflightwork. They're all synonymous. :|

    Query: Has Zach been integrated yet?

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  68. Input accepted. Response: No.

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  69. Warning: Switching to Standby for the night.

    ReplyDelete